Teachinator (episode)/Transcript

Shelby: Fanboy, you clearly indicated we were going out for ice cream, not doing surveillance.

Fanboy: Ow! (jumps on the roof) Sorry, Shelby. Business first, ice cream later. (he goes)

Shelby: (whispering) Fanboy, come back. It's dark down here. (Mr. Pluss is seen watching Countin & Abbey. Shelby watches it too.) Oh a warm, friendly glow

(Cut to Fanboy, who is wearing a headset.)

Fanboy: I'm at target location. Teachinator's downstairs watching Countin & Abbey. Chum Chum, do you copy?

Chum Chum: (over headset) Use my codename.

Fanboy: Okay, "Superatomic Tiger."

(Cut to Chum Chum, who is also wearing a headset.)

Chum Chum: All right, you have exactly 53 minutes for Operation Answer Sheet. Good luck, Clam Chowder.

Fanboy: (over headset) Why do I have to have such a lame codename?

Chum Chum: Hey, I don't make up the names.

Fanboy: (over headset) Yes, you do.

Chum Chum: Cut the chatter, Clam Chowder. This mission is time-sensitive.

(Scene cuts to Fanboy climbing down the roof and his mouth sticked to the window. He goes inside the house and puts the window back.)

Fanboy: Clam Chowder to Atomic Tiger. Infiltration successful.

Chum Chum: (over headset) Copy that, Clam Chowder. Phase two: locate Teachinator's office.

Fanboy: Roger. X-ray vision, on. (he puts on X-ray vision and the X-ray vision locates Teachinator's office.)

(Just as Fanboy is about to go into Teachinator's office, Teachinator' cat appears and Fanboy hides with his limbs steched on the ceiling. His sweat is about to drop on Teachinator's cat, but luckly, Fanboy catches it. The cat leaves and Fanboy sweeps away his sweat, only to end up falling into Teachinator's office.)

Fanboy: Hm? (scene shows Ninja Gnome cards.) Ninja Gnome cards? I thought only we collected these. 

Chum Chum: (over headset) Those are ours. (gasps) You must have found the (Scene shows the Confiscatorium.) Confiscatorium! So the legend is true. (Cut to Chum Chum) You gotta find my Vocamore.

Fanboy: (over headset) Oh, no!

Chum Chum: What?

Fanboy: (over headset) This is awful!

Chum Chum: Did you find Kevin Deadweight?!

Fanboy (Cut to Fanboy) Worse. Socks with sandals! (hides the picture and turns on the computer.) I'm ready to hack into the mainframe.

(Cut to Chum Chum)

Fanboy: (over headset) Did you get the codes from Herman?

Chum Chum: Got 'em right here. Okay, hold down-control-alt-shift-E-R-9-Z...

(Scene cuts to Teachinator watching Countin & Abbey and sobbing.)

Abbey: (on TV) Oh, darling, if we don't simplify those fractions to the lowest common denominator, we'll lose the Countdown forever.

Countin: (on TV) Fear not, my love, this is child's play for my calculator. Oh, no, the battery has died.

Shelby: What'll become of the Countdown?

(Scene cuts to Fanboy typing.)

Chum Chum: (over headset) B-space-escape-F7-Q-N-double click.

(Fanboy uses his tongue to double click and moves the computer mouse to the "enter" icon and a check mark appears.)

Fanboy: Yes, I'm in. (clicks on the answer file and sends it to the entire school.) And sending it to everybody! Clam Chowder to Atomic Tiger. Mission accomplished. Returning to base.

Chum Chum: (over headset) Hold on. You've gotta get my Vocamore from the Confiscatorium.

Fanboy: There's no time.

Chum Chum: (over headset) What are you saying? (Cut to Chum Chum) Think about all the great times we had with it.

(Flashback to Chum Chum using his Vocamore with Santa Claus' voice and Fanboy holding his phone.) 

Chum Chum: (in Santa Claus' voice.) Ho-ho-ho! Hello there, Boog. This is Santa Claus. You have been a very naughty boy. I'm crossing you off my list. (he and Fanboy start laughing)

Boog: But Santa...

(Flashback ends. Cut to Fanboy)

Fanboy: (giggles) You're right. Let's do this. (finds Chum Chum's Vocamore) A-ha!

(Fanboy grabs the Vocamore and a ball falls and it bounces around the room and Mr. Pluss catches it and uses robot vision and his cat meows.)

Teachinator: Oh, Pythagoras, Daddy Marion is very upset.

Fanboy: Marion?

Chum Chum: Marion?! (giggles)

Teachinator: (Cut back to the office) You're going to write 100 times, "I will not go into Daddy Marion's office." (Pythagoras meows.) Two-hundred times! (Pythagoras meows again.) (slams the door.) THREE-HUNDRED!

Fanboy: Eh? (he notices an airvent. Cut to Fanboy inside the airvent.) Clam Chowder to Superatomic Tiger. Do you read me? (crunching noises are heard through Fanboy's headset.) Chum Chum, you're breaking up?

(Cut to Chum Chum eating Anchovy Bites.)

Chum Chum: Sorry, dude, snack break. Man, these Anchovy Bites really bite. (Cut to Fanboy) (over headset) How can you eat these?

Fanboy: What are you talking about? Anchovy Bites rule.

Chum Chum: No way. Very Perry Pepperoni blows them out of the water.

(Fanboy falls of a cliff of the airvent screaming. Cut to Chum Chum.)

Chum Chum: Okay, take it easy. They're both good. (a thud noise can be heard through Chum Chum's headset) Clam Chowder? (Static hisses through the headset.) MAN DOWN!

(Scene cuts to Fanboy on the floor. He gets up and it reveals that the room is a classroom with animetronics as his classmates.)

Fanboy: Kyle? Alicia? Chum Chum? Fanboy?

''(A walking noise can be heard and Fanboy freaks out. Fanboy tries to jump out of the window, which turns out to be wallpaper. He then replaces his animetronic look-alike and sits on it's chair.) Mr. Pluss enters the room. Scene reveals Teachinator's father.)''

Teachinator: Greetings, Father. Severity, rigor, excessive discipline.

Female Speaker: Simulator powering up.

(The animetronics power up with glowing red eyes.)

Female Speaker: Powering up completed. Commence training. Level one: enforce courtesy and respect.

(Scene cuts to inside Teachinator's mind with Alicia reading a book, music playing on a cellphone, and a student picking it's nose. Outside of Teachinator's mind, Mr. Pluss destroys the animetronic Alicia's book, pulls off animetronic Herman's earplugs, and pulls animetronic Boog's finger out of his nose.)

Female Speaker: Level two: withstand full frontal assault.

(The animetronics throws things and Teachinator dodges them with his hands.)

Female Speaker: Level three: confront total chaos and restore order.

(The animetronic do chaos and Fanboy crawls to the door, but Teachinator grabs him, puts the animetronics in their seets and uses a bomb to destroy the stuff in a bucket.)

Female Speaker: Training complete. Success rate: 99 percent.

Teachinator: Hm? (He stomps and it puts Fanboy in normal posistion.)

Female Speaker: Success rate: 100 percent.

Teachinator: (sighs and notices the paint on the picture of his father) Father, forgive me. (sobs) All I want is for you to be proud of me. (Fanboy starts to sob) Hm? Hm... Never had one leak before. (puts Fanboy on a desk) Oh, this is worse than I thought. Better rip out the motherboard. (He grabs out his screwdriver)

Chum Chum: (through Fanboy's headset) Superatomic Tiger to Clam Chowder. Do you read me? (unfortunetaly, Teachinator can hear it.)

Teachinator: Hm?

(Teachinor searches through the room and Fanboy grabs the Vocamore and puts on Teachinator's father's voice.)

Fanboy: (in Teachinator's father's voice) My son.

Teachinator: Father, is that you?

Fanboy: Yes, Marion, and I want you to know I'm totally proud of you.

Teachinator: Really?

Fanboy: Yes, you're awesome, but you are way too hard on your students. A 100 hours of detention for the entire school? That is really uncool.

Teachinator: "Really uncool?" That dosen't sound like you.

Fanboy: You just earned yourself an hour in the corner. Does that sound like me?

Teachinator: But, father--

Fanboy: Two hours.

Teachinator: But--

Fanboy: Three!

Teachinator: Yes, father. (sobs as he walks to the corner.)

Fanboy: And Marion, never wear socks with sandals again. (He leaves. Cut to outside Teachinator's house.) (normal voice) Come on, Shelby, let's go.

Shelby: We can't go now. The Earl of Algebra is about to discover that X equals Y.